Boundaries in Bonds

As we walk with God, we will stumble upon sin, and it can be difficult to flee from it when those surrounding you are engaged in sin too. Setting boundaries within all of your relationships can set you up for success as you grow in Christ. Think of them as guard rails. These guard rails keep us on a steady and straight path, reducing the risk of falling into sin. Since we all have our own set of sins that we personally struggle with, the boundaries we create may look different. In today’s post The Daily Bread will be providing some general lines that your loved ones should not cross.

Our friends and family connect with us on a platonic level. We experience an intimate love with them. That is why it’s important to ensure boundaries are placed! You can avoid a potential strain on your relationship and your bond will surely become stronger.

Friends and family should not tempt you into sinning. As it says in Proverbs 27:17, we should sharpen each other like iron sharpens iron. The people around you should be pushing you to be the best version of yourself, and that includes spiritually. If you make it clear you don’t want to partake in activities with alcohol, then your family should not bother asking you. If they don’t ask, you don’t have to answer and risk saying yes. If you want to stop swearing, your friends should not encourage you to use profanity towards yourself or others. We are called to be set apart, so set yourself apart from sins that you struggle with.

Friends and family should not be self-centered. “I put me first, always”. “If it doesn’t serve me, what’s the point?” This mindset should not be present in someone close to you. That doesn’t mean your loved ones should be your personal doormat, but it does mean that you can rely on them to be there for you in times of need. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us that if we fall, then they will help us get up. It’s not just about who is there when life is good and can be in success with you. It’s also about who shows up, mourns with you, and helps you to move forward.

Friends and family should respect your religion. Realistically, not every person close to us will be devoted to Christ. Even if they were, no one is going to be the “perfect” Christian. Regardless, everyone should respect your own beliefs and boundaries. Your loved ones should let you exercise your religion freely! A person meant to be in your circle will encourage you to stay true to your faith and won’t see your shift as lame, but as a beautiful transition into who you are meant to be.

      Things get a bit more tricky when it comes to romantic relationships. This is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, so boundaries are CRITICAL in order to ensure your own well-being and the longevity of the relationship.

You and your partner should be on the same page. When picking someone to spend the rest of your life with, it’s important to be on the same page of where you want your life to go and what you want it to look like. Do you want to go to church every Sunday? Do you want to wait to have sex after marriage? It’s important for your partner to either respect these things and therefore compromise, or to desire the same thing! Ideally, your partner should be a believer, as 2 Corinthians 6:14 tells us “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?”

You should be seeking a partner for marriage. Many today date without real intention. A fling, just a few days of enjoyment and then onto the next. This is where we set boundaries for ourselves on what we are looking for. We must find a partner who we desire to marry. Who we want to spend the rest of our lives with. If you are with someone, and you look at them and cannot imagine them being your groom/wife or the father/mother of your children, why are you with them?! Live by what God calls us to do.

Neither you or your partner should try to come higher than God. In a relationship, we desire to be loved like no other, and we are selfish with this love. But, one should NEVER try to come on top of their partner’s love for God. The Lord comes first in every instance, and that Holy relationship is a priority over any other. Allow your partner to spend time with the Father, encourage them to do things that will bring them closer to Him, and never try to drag them away out of pure selfishness.